Tuesday, May 20, 2008

i was looking through some old photos today and this one caught my eye--my self portrait from a year and a half ago. i'm sure what caught my eye was the shocking blonde hair with the terrible dark roots, haha :) btw...don't ever let me do that again!
the image i was trying to portray was pretty cliche. coming out from behind the masks that we wear--whether for protection, shyness or whatever. i thought to myself...am i that same person? have i grown since i shot that photo? i'd like to say that i have. i'd like to say that i'm exceptionally comfortable in my skin. i'd like to say that i'm the same with every person that i spend time with. truthfully, i know i'm not. there are few that have the privlege of seeing the real renee. my mom says that i am a master at hiding my true feelings. one of my doctors actually labeled me "the stoic".
the truth is simply this...underneath the facade of "having everything under control", i am incredibly insecure.
i know i share this feeling with half the world. why is it so difficult for us to be honest with each other? the answer--because we live in a world where hurts are all too real...where disappointment abounds and sin runs rampant.
kinda makes you long for heaven, doesn't it?
i guess i'll just have to keep working on it until i get there. :)

1 comment:

loughsarah said...

I, Sarah M. Lough, hereby promise, in the presence of Julianne and Isaac, to never again dye your hair shockingly blonde or any color similar.

Signed and dated May 27, 2008