i was looking through some old photos today and this one caught my eye--my self portrait from a year and a half ago. i'm sure what caught my eye was the shocking blonde hair with the terrible dark roots, haha :) btw...don't ever let me do that again!
the image i was trying to portray was pretty cliche. coming out from behind the masks that we wear--whether for protection, shyness or whatever. i thought to myself...am i that same person? have i grown since i shot that photo? i'd like to say that i have. i'd like to say that i'm exceptionally comfortable in my skin. i'd like to say that i'm the same with every person that i spend time with. truthfully, i know i'm not. there are few that have the privlege of seeing the real renee. my mom says that i am a master at hiding my true feelings. one of my doctors actually labeled me "the stoic".
the truth is simply this...underneath the facade of "having everything under control", i am incredibly insecure.
i know i share this feeling with half the world. why is it so difficult for us to be honest with each other? the answer--because we live in a world where hurts are all too real...where disappointment abounds and sin runs rampant.
kinda makes you long for heaven, doesn't it?
i guess i'll just have to keep working on it until i get there. :)